the life of a deviant mind

darkthoughts

About 2 months from now, I will be turning 25 years old. 25 is a scary age for me. It means that you just have 5 years more to be 30; 5 years is just a very short time.

I may have become a trainer at the age of 24 (and that's still young), and I may be happy with my life now, but there's something that I still failed to do. And that is to have one single relationship that I can be proud of. I never had a normal loving relationship, not even once. All relationships I had either started out wrong and ended wrong or could be considered non-existent.

My very first boyfriend was from Davao whom I've never seen in person. I had a boyfriend who disappeared after I said, "Yes! I'll be your girlfriend." I had another who was hated by my friends and family and who left me for another girl. I had one who only meets me once or twice a month, and I didn't even get to know any of his friends and family members.

I'm worried. I'm going to be 25 soon and yet I still haven't experienced how it is to be a normal girlfriend. Yes, I want that. I want to go shopping with a boyfriend, watch movies with him, have dinner with his family, have a drink with his friends and see him more than once in a week.

I want to be normal.